ORMSKIRK LADIES 26 – O LEEDS LEOS WRUFC II
Route One. That was Leo’s plan. They had a solid scrum, a good line out and bugger all imagination. The Leo’s Coaching Manual probably has three pages and was probably written by an ex-forward on three brick walls in emulsion. Page 1 - win ball. Page 2 - give ball to nearest person. Page 3 - run into brick wall ( but try not to smudge the paint ).
They did it bravely, repeatedly and fruitlessly, for the Ladies had just the people in place to withstand such a brain dead battering. First and foremost No 8 Lou Prescott. After all her youthful years playing with Liverpool St Helens in the Premiership, there is nothing she likes better than the contact area coming to her. Then flanker Kayleigh ‘Special K’ McDonnell, whose rugby league background has taught her that hurting people is far more important than winning the game. And, of course, lock and Girl of the Game, Lucy Walker, whose idea of fun is pulling her own arm off and and battering an opponent to death with it. Finally, if Leos risked a nosebleed by attacking as wide as the 10 channel, there were fly half Jenny Leitch and inside centre Louise “Mrs Robinson” Robinson to make sure they got one.
Having thus neutralised Leo’s game plan, the Ladies could set about winning the game by playing some rugby. They’ve got out of the habit this season so it wasn’t surprising that they were a bit rusty. None more so than centre Emma ‘Doombringer’ Gander. Recently her handling has been of a standard that would promise an extremely short career in bomb disposal. Running the ball from a 5m scrum along the backs, Em predictably spilled the ball. However Leitch, alive to the probability that the ball would finish up on the floor, toe ended the ball through for winger ‘Shirley’ Rylance to score. Leitch converted and the Ladies went back to defending.
Being stuck in your own 22 can be a bit of a chore when you are up to your armpits in mud and facing a blustery wind. But at least Leos weren’t going to do anything outrageous like give the ball to a winger, and there was always the comedy kicking of full back Kate ‘Triple L’ Traynor to lighten the gloom. In fact you could make a good case that the kicking of Leitch and Traynor was actually charity work rather than a serious attempt to clear their lines. Without it the Leo’s back three would have perished from hypothermia and boredom …
“What are you doing this Sunday, luv ?”
“I’m going to cross the Pennines, mum, put on a pair of shorts and stand in a field in Lancashire for two hours.”
“What for ?”
“No idea, mum.”
Eventually the Ladies broke out and into the Leeds’ half. Gander was finally given a pass that didn’t wriggle away from her like a slippery pig and burst majestically between the centres to score. Leitch converted to give the Ladies a 14 – 0 half time lead.
The Ladies had the wind at their backs and much more of the ball in the second half and therefore the opportunity to make even more mistakes. But they didn’t. It was all quite efficient. Jenny Leitch bustled over for a third converted try and then a sweeping move saw “Shirley” Rylance score in the corner. Or so everybody except the referee thought. Apparently he’d noticed the flag ‘wobble’. Shirley claimed it was her roaring slipstream that had disturbed the flag but the referee was unconvinced and disallowed the try.
It remained only for Leitch to put Walker in for a well deserved try to seal a victory that gave a glimpse of what Ormskirk Ladies are actually capable of. And not a moment too soon. The next League game is away to unbeaten Darlington
