An abundance of neoprene, heat rub and support bandages – plus a thick fog of nostalgia and bon homie – filled the changing room before the big match. Players automatically gravitated towards ‘their’ corner, or ‘their’ hook – The young whipper-snapper Wroey had to vacate ‘his’ corner for the more mature Monty, who in turn gave way to seniority when Purdy demanded his rightful position in the ranks.
The 1999 team, captained by Paul Leonard Kearney had ‘reformed’. Like Take That, we were not quite the original line-up – player/coach Ian Aitcheson and Steve Leigh were unable to attend, whilst Dickie Underwood watched on with a gay-Paris injury – but the majority of the squad did turn up. The rag-tag group of friends managed to muster the energy and enthusiasm to don the green and blue of Ormskirk RUFC. But the green and blue on show today was more akin to a retro fashion show. Monty brought out a training top from a decade ago, only for Stoney to reveal an earlier version of the garment. Gaffer then trumped everyone with striped shirt circa 1945, big enough to fit most the back-line in.
On the one hand, not much had changed. Al Neve arrived late; Blacky grunted abusively to all and sundry; and everyone picked on Wroey. On the other hand, there were some obvious differences. The athletes of the 1999 team had – in most cases – gone through some kind of metamorphosis in the 10 years that had elapsed since they last met as a formidable XV. Most were now physically rather different (i.e. fatter and balder/greyer) than their former glory days. Some had proper jobs. And a few had – remarkably – lost weight.
There were some shocks before kick-off - Neil Sculock did manage to get changed and enter the field of play without injuring himself; Pete Purdy did manage to get through the whole of the pre-match build up without punching anyone; and PK actually kept his opinions to himself.
These kind of games are often a feeble excuse for a nostalgic get-together over a few pints, where the rugby is secondary to the main event of drinking, eating and/or naked bar-diving. On the occasion of PK’s 45th birthday though (don’t let him tell you any other number – he has a medical condition akin to Peter Pan Syndrome), a remarkable thing happened – a rather decent spectacle of something resembling a competitive and skilful game did take place. Granted, it wasn’t champagne rugby – it flittered between a vintage shiraz and a snakebite – but it was entertaining, enjoyable and engaging.
The Club XV squad, skippered by 2nd XV Captain Ged Dawson, contained a combative and useful blend of youth and experience. The ‘Space 1999’ team contained no less than 5 former First XV Captains and chaps playing (on the whole) in their preferred playing position – the exception being some back row players who had to settle for a place with the girls in the backs. Having said this, the sight of PK or Nick Holden in full flight from the back division must have put the fear of God into the opposition!
Up front, Ray Allen, Blacky, Chris Tracey and Biscuit between them hit every scrum with the same vigour and vim as if it were Dukinfield facing them. The engine room of Al Neve and Deany provided immense support, with big Stevie Denholme making a huge impact when he came on. And the starting back row of Kieran Mahood, Adi Moll and Neil Scurlock were simply awesome.
In the back division, the half-back pairing of Purdy and Stoney played like they’d never been away. If Aitch had turned up, he’d have struggled to get a place in the starting XV. Gaffer blasted his way through the first tackle as in days of old, whilst PK side-stepped and hand-offed his way through the opposition. And the back three of Wroey, Monty and Nick Holden sometimes looked dangerous with the ball in their hands.
There were many moments worthy of mention in the four 20-minute quarters - Gary Spengler’s magnanimity in terms of the amount of things he missed for both teams; Blacky’s spectacular conversion attempt in front of the posts; and the quite surprising but rather impressive passages of play which gave way to an open and creative display of running rugby.
For the record, the 1999 team won 15-14. Three unconverted tries gave the old boys a comfortable lead – PK fittingly scored the first after supporting Monty on a run from midfield; Monty scored the second after Stoney fed Wroey the ball in a well-engineered miss-move; and Purdy scored the third after ignoring most of his team-mates and scampering over in the corner. As legs tired and energy levels dropped, the Club XV came back strongly in the last quarter, scoring twice through ????? and Roberts – but the worthy opposition just ran out of time.
The whole day and evening was a wonderful occasion, and the match itself a great advertisement for vets rugby at Green Lane. Though Wroey brought the average age of the 1999 team down by a few years, this was immediately negated when Cleggy, Russ and Jonesy stepped onto the hallowed turf. Nevertheless, It was evident that there was plenty of life left in the old dogs………
The sit-down meal after the game (very kindly paid for by Jules – thank you Julia, on behalf of everyone) was fantastic. It also gave PK an opportunity to practice his public speaking - an opportunity, of course, he grabbed with two hands. A few well-chosen anecdotes entertained the audience, and Paul thanked everyone for their attendance and contribution in helping make the whole event such a success.
As the shadows grew longer, hamstrings grew shorter and people started to hobble home. The community spirit of Ormskirk RUFC had been well and truly epitomised once again. Who needs Friends Reunited or Facebook when the simple pleasure of chasing an egg-shaped ball can bring together men, women and children in such an agreeable way?
Watch this space for more 1999 shenanigans next season…..
