ORMSKIRK LADIES 10 – 10 BLAYDON WRUFC II
If there are still some Neanderthals about who are convinced that women can’t play rugby, they’ll be sorry they missed this game. Because here, in all the turgid, muddy muddle was all the proof that they needed. Facing a team they had put five tries on in their first League game of the season by playing fast, open rugby, the Ladies reverted to the kind of rugby last played when a dinosaur egg was used instead of a ball. Or at least they did for an hour.
Rugby is potentially a red mist game and sometimes, when players get excited, they forget that the ball is the point of the game. Winning the ball, keeping the ball and putting the little rascal over the line is all that matters. Battering the hell out of your opponents is merely a by product of the Laws, albeit a satisfying one at times.
Paul Waywell, sometime ORUFC Colts’ coach and a wise, wise man, once said that when you are in possession of the ball, rugby, played well, is a non contact game. How right he is. But you would never have known from this game that the Ladies had ever been introduced to the concept of moving the ball swiftly into open spaces and then into the hands of strike runners who can do some damage.
No, whenever a hairy knuckled monster appeared in front of them … sorry Blaydon. You were actually a jolly attractive bunch of women, but the narrative demands dramatic effect … the Ladies ran straight into them. They launched No8 Emma Gander, one of their fastest players, against massed defences. They gave lock Lucy Walker the task of bludgeoning her way into spaces she was ill equipped to use. Fly half Jenny Leitch, lethal in the open, was asked to drive the ball in short. It didn’t work. When, as a weary afterthought, the Ladies tried to put the ball out wide they found a flat line of flat footed backs who crabbed sideways and shovelled the ball into the ground.
If you think it sounds bad, it was a lot worse watching. This was a team putting the UG back into rUGby.
Having decided not to beat Blaydon, the Ladies set about trying to lose. Pint sized funstress Kate Traynor has many qualities. She’s quick, surprisingly skilful with the ball ( the emphasis here is on ‘surprise’ rather than ‘skill’ ) and has bags of heart. But she’s got the tackling technique of Dale Winton and the build of a Twiglet. So where to put her on the pitch ? Hmmm ? How about outside centre ? Where she has zero support in defence … after three minutes Blaydon ran into Kate’s channel, got their entry visa stamped and went 5 points up.
The rest of the first half was all thud and blunder as the Ladies tried to prove that they belonged at the bottom of the division along with Blaydon.
Blaydon, edging the physical battle throughout the game, kept the Ladies trapped in their own half for long periods … that’s months in spectator time … and eventually and deservedly, they went 10 – 0 ahead. With a penalty under Ormskirk’s posts they suffered a spasm of rugby, elected to run the ball wide and scored with ease.
Maybe they shouldn’t have done it, because suddenly the Ladies were reminded of how to play the game. Leggy lock Cath Nixon, try hanging away from the nasty brutishness of the forwards, ran at a bit of space and found the indefatigable Walker in support. Walker stormed on and drew the defenders to put wing ‘Shirley’ Rylance in for a walkover try. At last they had put dinosaur rugby behind them and were playing Ormskirk Ladies’ rugby !
With time running out the Ladies started to move the ball and ran Blaydon ragged. With seconds left Girl of the Game Leitch popped up as a blind side winger and made the drawing score. The conversion failed, but the rugby gods be praised, the Ladies had learned their lesson.
* The views expressed in this match report are those of an embittered ex-coach and should in no way be confused with the truth.
